The word embodiment gets thrown about quite a bit these days. Many people call themselves embodiment coaches. What does it mean and how will that help you anyway? Often I see descriptions of it as not being in your body, that might seem confusing when you are walking around in it. How can we not be in our body if we are moving around in it?
Being embodied, quite simply, is being able to listen to the messages and signals from your body. Many of us early on stop listening to these messages for a multitude of reasons. Firstly if we felt sensation all the time we would be overwhelmed. So we learn to tone down our listening a bit to all the sensations just to function. Some of us stop listening because we experience trauma, overwhelm or stress. The stress can be internal or external to us. Our body reacts in a particular way to protect us, so that may be disassociation for example. This then becomes a reaction in our nervous system that is unconscious; our body doesn’t know the difference between a real or perceived threat it just reacts the same way.
How does it help us to learn to better listen to our bodies messages? Well, you start to improve your boundary setting and you get a lot better with your decision making. Do you know what a full bodied NO and YES feel like inside your body? When you do you are able to set a proper boundary. As we begin to connect to sensation in our body we sometimes find parts of ourselves we have fragmented off just to function. When we integrate them they no longer become unconscious triggers. This helps our decision making because it is not unconsciously making decisions.
When you can listen to your body it helps connect you to your sexuality and what is pleasurable for your body. Pleasure is always available to us inside our body. What are the the sensations that feel pleasurable in your body. I’m not just talking about sexual stimulation as pleasure. Pleasure is available to us in our body in many ways. (I’m going to give you a little practice at the end to try).
Lack of embodiment inhibits our ability to connect with our self pleasure and it also inhibits our ability to connect deeply with others. If we don’t listen to our own bodies signals are we paying attention to others. We are all nervous system to nervous system talking to each other in an unconscious way.
What are barriers to embodiment? Well as I mentioned stress, overwhelm and trauma. Self talk can create a response that signals danger to our body. A nervous system that is depleted is like an empty cup or a cup that is overflowing (ie. when we’re in fight and flight mode). It is hard to connect when the cup is empty and if the cup isn’t emptied all the time, it can’t hold everything in it.
Our body shows a number of symptoms in the form of pain and tension. For example, a tight jaw and pelvic floor which is very common, they are connected by the way. This is a problem because we start to disconnect with the parts of our body that give us sexual pleasure. We might get a sore back or neck from sitting at our desk having online meetings all day. Can you stand up every hour and do some exercise like shaking, or rolling your feet over spikey balls. I love rolling on my foam roller for half an hour doing some myofacial release or practicing kundalini yoga which expands my nervous system.
So what are the strategies we can use to connect with our body and make sure the cup keeps being emptied - that is stress and overwhelm is managed. Well the first thing is we need to expand the capacity of our cup. When we expand our capacity and create a bigger container we are able to hold pleasure more effectively and reduce stress. I have worked with many women who, when we have expanded the capacity of their ‘cup’, have reduced stress by increasing their body awareness and ability to cope with triggers and simultaneously, they have started to feel more pleasure in their body.
Think about these categories Exercise, Sleep, Nutrition, Mindfulness practices, connecting with Family and Friends, playing with Pets. Journal on what practices, in these categories, you have that you use daily to connect with your body and to experiment with what brings you pleasure. What movement practices bring awareness to your body? Do they help you become aware of the connection with your inner landscape and sensations of your body?
Here are two practices for you.
Food as nourishment - for a whole day I want you to eat nourishing food that brings pleasure to your body. Food that is healthy, that is supporting all the organs and systems of your body. I just went out to lunch with my husband and we both had a big salad bowl that had 4 different salads in it. It felt so good to be filling my body with this, it was pleasurable to eat such nutritious and tasty food. I was delighted by the feast of color of the food.
Secondly, find yourself a quiet space where you can lie down quietly. You might want some sensual oils to rub on your hands. I want you to caress your skin all over your body in awe and wonder, like you are touching it for the very first time. You know how babies are when they discover parts of their body. They are literally spun out in happiness over their body parts. Gently guide your fingers all over you skin and just notice how it feels to discover sensation in different parts of yourself. Your fingers, feet, tummy, arms, neck, notice it all. As you explore a new part speak out loud to yourself the sensation you notice. Is it hot, cold, warm, does it have a color, does it have energy like vibration. If you feel nothing, what does nothing feel like?
If you have any questions come back to me. By the way, embodiment work is a big part of my coaching practice and my self practice, so if you are interested in expanding your capacity in your cup drop me a line.